War Pipe Bong | Damian Stifter

With high times going on
in a White House-underground bunker,
where Donald is glassblowing
American taxpayers’ money.

He’s got heavy munchies
of Jughead hero dreams.
Telling his kitchen cabinet
to pass his Twitter messages along.
Tell the world “the alt-right ain’t never wrong.”

And in his underground bunker, he
drops some tweet bombs, 
scaring all of the Muslim moms.
Donald is getting his practice
hitting the “anti-peace pipe bong.”

The Little Rocket Man soon finds out,
and he wants in on the anti-peace pipe,
so he can suck in the helium smoke and
blow out high-pitched nuclear giggles.

Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un,
just your typical Cheech and Chong.
Two kamikaze kings,
passing around that war pipe bong.

But in the underground bunker,
pushin’ comes to shovin’. 
Kimmie and Donnie start fighting for power.
Little Donnie whines, “No, MY big red button is the biggest red button!”

Donald Cheech and Kim Jong Chong
are arguing in the underground bunker.
They both snap while fighting over that war pipe bong.
In their inebriated stupor, they slam down
on their big red buttons,
sending nuclear bombs

And when they emerge
from that underground bunker,
they discover the verdant earth
bombed gone.