According to its national website, Finland has a population of 5.4 million people (Finland Promotion Board 1), or at least, the majority of the world believes so. However, Finland hides a deeper, darker secret: Finland does not actually exist. When asked if she believes that Finland exists, Loren Connolly answered, “Yeah, isn’t Finland one of those countries in Northern Europe?” (Connolly 1) Connolly’s answer represents the views of nearly everyone living on Earth: Finland exists. However, I have found evidence that Finland in fact exists for the sole purpose of Japanese fishing rights, as well as to serve as an example of working socialism.
The United Nations “created” Finland in order to allow Japan to harvest more fish than allowed. Raregan, a user on the popular social media site Reddit, described the so-called “Finland Conspiracy” as: The actual land mass that is known as Finland is really just Eastern Sweden. The United Nations edits all produced world maps to include Finland, when in reality water takes up all of the space. The idea that an organization could fabricate an entire country seems so extreme that people would just believe it without questioning and that someone could invent an entire country just seems so ridiculous; it cannot hold any factual merit. This skepticism has kept Finland’s secret nonexistence a secret for so long but not anymore.
What could motivate the United Nations to fabricate an entire nation’s existence? What drove Finland’s creation? We see the answer in a Japanese delicacy: sushi. The Japanese wanted to harvest a huge amount of fish, but due to tight regulations, they could not fish as much as they wanted. As a result, Japan agreed with Russia to invent a “landmass” where the Japanese could fish as much as they wanted. The Japanese felt that they could get away with overfishing in this body of water, as nobody even knew that the body of water existed. The Japanese would then transport the fish through Russia and pay Russia a small portion of the fish they caught. Russia agreed to this proposal to save the lives of the Russian people, as many Russians starved to death under Stalin’s reign, which coincided with the period of time that the United Nations founded Finland. Japan’s naming of their invented country tipped off investigations. What did the Japanese need from the country? Fish. How do fish swim? Fins. So what do they name the country? Finland.
According to an Android forum, Apple iPhones rule the market in Japan (AndroidPub 1). Why, then, would Japan so heavily import Nokia phones? They don’t. The Nokia phones disguise the fact that Japan actually imports some huge sum of fish every year. The United Nations would like to have everyone believe that Nokia has Finnish ownership; however, Japan really owns Nokia, and “imports” the phones to disguise the fishing trade. According to Sachi Azumi, “Nokia stopped doing business in Japan in 2008” (Izumi 1). Why would Nokia stop selling phones in Japan ten years ago? The Japanese realized that their business began to attract attention. Japan’s hate of negative attention surpasses its love of illegally-sourced sushi.
Not only does Finland exist to bolster Japan’s fishing hauls, but it also serves as a fabricated example of working socialism. The USSR pushed heavily for the creation of Finland, as the USSR wanted the West to see socialism from an unbiased view. The USSR knew that the Western World would be more likely to view a socialist Western nation favorably rather than a socialist Eastern nation. I talked to self-proclaimed Finland expert, Drew Potter, about his opinion on Finland’s existence, to which he responded:
"America really hasn’t been a fan of socialism, right? Between how we’re kind of on the end of the spectrum and the Cold War and tensions with China and all that, it hasn’t been something that has gone over well with us. However, outside looking in, Finland seems to be a great country where they’ve near perfected it. One can argue that other countries have simply made up Finland in order to make it seem like socialism can actually work, and can work even better than capitalism." (Potter 1)
Potter describes just why countries, such as China, for example, would support the creation of Finland. Finland acts as a propaganda tool to convince easily-swayed people to turn to socialism. In order to counteract any sort of bias from Mr. Potter leaning towards a certain political side, I interviewed Joseph McCarthy. McCarthy specifically requested to be referred to as “Joseph McCarthy (Not the bad one)” (McCarthy 1). McCarthy stated his opinion on the Finland debate, saying, “Death is the solution to all problems. No man – no problem. –Joseph Stalin” (McCarthy 1). When asked to elaborate upon his statement, McCarthy refused further comment. McCarthy’s statement further describes how socialism truly results in the death of all men, and socialism can only successfully function as a political system in a made-up country. The ironically named Joseph McCarthy shamelessly describes how Socialism has no end but in death, and yet he still pushes for the implementation of Socialism worldwide.
To sum up, the United Nations fabricated Finland both for the purpose of allowing Japan to illegally harvest an exorbitant amount of fish, as well as to try to convince the West that Socialism is a viable economic strategy. Finland’s fabrication shows us today that we as a society need to look with more awareness, and a lens of skepticism at all times. If the United Nations can create an entire nation without anybody finding out for all this time, what else have they or other international organizations done? What do they have the ability to do? If we begin to take greater care in how we look at the world, we can take the wool from over our eyes and see the world as it really exists.
AndroidPub. “Apple Vs Android - A Comparative Study .” AndroidPub, AndroidPub, 1 Mar. 2017, android.jlelse.eu/apple-vs-android-a-comparative-study-2017-c5799a0a1683.
Connolly, John C, and Drew Potter. “What's Your Opinion on Finland's Existence?” 25 Mar. 2018.
Connolly, John C, and Joseph McCarthy. “What Do You Believe about Finland?” 25 Mar. 2018.
Connolly, Loren A, and John C Connolly. “Does Finland Exist?” 25 Mar. 2018.
“Finland in Facts.” ThisisFINLAND, Finland Promotional Board, 15 Feb. 2016, finland.fi/facts-stats-and-info/finland-in-facts-2/.
Izumi, Sachi. “Nokia to Cease Sales in Japan.” Reuters, Thomson Reuters, 27 Nov. 2008, www.reuters.com/article/us-nokia-japan/nokia-to-cease-sales-in-japan-idUSTRE4AQ1K620081127
Raregan. “What Did Your Parents Show You to Do That You Assumed Was Completely Normal, Only to Later Discover That It Was Not Normal at All? • r/AskReddit.” Reddit, Reddit Inc., 27 Dec. 2014, www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2qjohv/what_did_your_parents_show_you_to_do_that_you/cn6pn30/.